Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Garden Excursions

It is heatwave season.  This means a number of things.  Firstly the Daily Express gets even more shrill about weather than it is the rest of the year, seriously just click on the link above and I can pretty much guarantee that one of the first two or three stories will be about the incredible heat, or the possibility that next week we will be struck by an 'icy blast' from somewhere.  Secondly it means I write a blog post complaining about how hot it is.  Regular readers will now that I have a particular view about hot weather, which boils down to, it seems that lots of people seem to enjoy it, I don't and I would rather that it be somewhere else, anywhere else really.  However, this year will be different, this year I am not going to complain but instead I am going to regale you with a quick tale that will both entertain and instruct, well, maybe one of them, and probably the only instruction you will take from this is the obvious, if important, lesson that you should never leave your children under my supervision.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015


Tomorrow I will have been married for ten years.  Other than an opportunity to use a nice juicy future perfect, this also gives me the chance to remind everyone that I have the best wife anyone could hope for. 

This has not been an easy pregnancy for her.  She has suffered with a number of illnesses during the pregnancy, none dangerous to either her or the baby, but enough to make life much more difficult for her.  She has had to deal with two children, one of whom has enough energy to power most of urban Britain and is not afraid to use it all by attempting to destroy most of the furniture, whilst the other one somehow manages to make her sibling seem like the calm and lethargic one.  She has continued her usual hectic pace of work and activities, which make me tired just thinking about them, so I probably won’t anymore.  She has continued to support me in everything I do, and to encourage me to be the best I can be, which is a real necessity when you are dealing with someone as lazy as I am.

Difficulties, which seem entirely insurmountable to me, melt before her, which can get a little galling when I have stared at a problem for what could have been all day and B will sidle up (considering how big she has got she can still exhibit some pro stealth skills) and suggest a simple, elegant, entirely practical, #whydidn’tIspotthat? sort of a solution that had been staring me in the face (a lot of staring going on there).  That happens more in our house than you might expect and I would like to admit.

She seems to have a reserve of energy which manages to carry her through long days chasing after two Tasmanian Devils.  I can barely manage twenty minutes after work with them, and it would be a lie if I tried to pretend that my job required any physical effort.  I should be at my peak but after an entire day those two can still run me off my feet before tea whereas B has managed with them for 11 solid hours.

Ostensibly this is a blog about how I can’t quite keep up with my children, but none of it would be possible without B being there to clean up after the messes I make.  She has bailed me out on many occasions and I don’t know what I would do without her.  I suppose I just want to take this time to show my immense gratitude for the way that she makes my life such a fun-filled and laughter-packed one.  Here’s to ten more years, one day we’ll laugh about this.

Monday, 15 June 2015

Slip Sliding Away

We’ve been away recently.  A week with around 350 other Christadelphians at a place in Derbyshire.  It is my favourite week of the year and brilliant for the children.  You really know you’ve had a great week when N is bawling her eyes out almost all the way home because she “doesn’t want to go hhhhhome.”  A sure sign of a week filled with fun and friends.

One of the very best features of where we go is that it is relatively enclosed.  We can let N and S have a far greater level of freedom than we would at home because there is so much less that could go wrong.  N is old enough to remember what it was like before and so is not really surprised by this any more.  S, however.  Well, let’s just relive about twenty minutes of his life from last week shall we? 

Saturday, 9 May 2015

A Sense of Imagination

You may remember, and if not the evidence is right here for you, that I recently mentioned needing to find some way of growing an extra limb in order to cope with the whirlwind that is having a third child.  By the way, all the people who have said that having a third is , like, really really hard compared to just having two, I'd like to introduce you to my doctor who has a bill for you for all the anxiety medication I am having to take at the moment.  Sorry about that, back to the point, I mentioned that I would need another arm to keep them all under control.  Well, it turns out that I have the perfect Marvellian (real word?  I'm not sure but I'm going with it) mad scientist to perfect my third arm.

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Pogo Like a Boss

B is 24 weeks pregnant this week.  This means a number of things.  Firstly, and probably most importantly, there are only 16 weeks left, which is a Good Thing.  Secondly, it means that B is now coming out of her energetic period, and is now starting to struggle in the evenings.  Thirdly, it means I was a little surprised when she appeared with a pogo stick on Friday evening.  

I’m no pregnancy expert.  I have experienced two and a half of them from the less involved side, but I am not initiated in all their mysteries.  I am however pretty certain that I could scour any number of leaflets, articles and seven volume book series on pregnancy and in none of them would I find anything which would hint to the possibility that pogoing was a good idea.  In fact it is probable that in one of the more comprehensive lists of dos and don’ts, one of the don’ts, I imagine quite low down the list, would be “Don’t pogo.”  

Monday, 20 April 2015

Up All Night

How do you keep from raising your voice all the time?  Do you try?  Can you?  How many questions can I ask in the first thirty words of this post?

N is 4 1\2 going on 15.  She seems to have reached peak annoying for me at the moment.  I find myself trying to find excuses for her to have to go to bed early.  This is not usually that difficult as part of her problem at the moment is that she is exhausted pretty much all the time.

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Sleeping Like a Baby

Peace is found in many different things by many different people.  For some, peace is found in the dancing flicker of an open flame, or the consuming violence of a roaring fire.  For some it is the gentle patter of rain on a window, for others it is the impotent fury of lashing high winds as they settle in for the night.  For some it is the rustle of leaves in a forest glade, as birds tweet and trees sway in a dance which has lasted for thousands of years, for others it is found in the face of a tiger as it paces, or a lion as it rests.  However, this is turning into a bit of a John Denver song so perhaps we should move on.